Posted on May 10, 2018 in Divorce

Relationship and social science experts have known for generations that children of divorced parents are more likely to get divorced later in life than children whose parents stayed together are. Of course, knowing that something is more likely to happen is not the same as knowing why that thing is more likely to happen, especially when it comes to children and families.

Noted scientists have long gone back and forth on the issue of “nature vs. nurture” in many areas of study. The debate boils down to two simple questions with quite complex answers. How much of a person’s behavior is determined by the environment in which he or she was raised, and how much is determined by his or her genetics and evolutionary instincts? A recent study suggests that divorce, of all things, may be linked to a person’s genetics more than we ever really thought possible.

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 Posted on May 09, 2018 in Child Custody

Sometimes a couple with children divorces and they continue interacting almost as if the divorce never happened. They still chat about their lives together when picking up or dropping off the children and can easily communicate about changes in parenting time schedules or concerns regarding the children.

Other couples are much more antagonistic toward each other during and after a divorce. They struggle to communicate at all without fighting and are not willing to cooperate with each other. This often happens when a marriage ends due to adultery or another significant breach of trust. Mental health issues like narcissistic personality disorder can also make it nearly impossible for parents to communicate effectively. In circumstances like these, a method of shared parenting called parallel parenting may be the best option for raising happy, successful children.

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 Posted on May 02, 2018 in Divorce

If you are thinking about ending your marriage through divorce, you probably have many questions and concerns. One of these concerns might be about how your marital property will be divided when you split. While we often only think of a marriage as a romantic partnership, it is also a merging of two people’s finances. When a couple divorces, the courts are tasked with dividing the couple’s jointly-held property, assets, and debts fairly. Read on to learn how property is divided during Illinois divorces.

When Couples Cannot Decide How to Split Their Accumulated Assets

Although the simplest and easiest way to manage property separation during a divorce is for the couple themselves to decide how the property will be split up, this is not always possible. Many divorcing couples are not able to agree on property division issues. Other times, one spouse refuses to sign divorce papers or dodges making any decisions about the split. For couples such as these, the matter often ends up in court.

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 Posted on April 27, 2018 in Divorce

Since the beginning of 2016, there has been only one grounds for divorce in Illinois: an irretrievable breakdown of the marriage caused by irreconcilable differences. Before that, the law permitted divorces to be granted on a number of other grounds, including adultery, abandonment, and repeated mental or physical cruelty. Many people are aware that a divorce on the basis of irreconcilable differences is considered a “no-fault” divorce, regardless of the circumstances. What some do not realize, however, is that verifying that a marriage is truly beyond repair is the first step in any Illinois divorce proceeding.

A Bifurcated Process

According to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act, a contested divorce is handled on a “bifurcated basis.” This means that there are two stages of proceedings. The first stage is where the court must decide “whether irreconcilable differences have caused the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage.” The second stage involves the particulars of the divorce including property division and child-related matters, but it is only necessary if and when the court determines that the marriage is truly beyond repair.

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 Posted on April 26, 2018 in Divorce

When married parents decide to end their marriage, often their biggest concern is not for themselves, but for their children. While the changes that come with divorce can be a challenge for any child to overcome, studies show that children are more than capable of adapting to a two-home family. One thing parents often worry about when they come to the realization that their marriage is over is how they will tell the children about the split. There is no perfect way to tell your kids that you and their other parent are getting a divorce, but there are some things you can do to minimize confusion and distress during the discussion.

Have the Conversation Together as a Family

Even if you and your soon-to-be-ex cannot stand to be around each other, it can be incredibly beneficial for parents to tell children about the divorce at the same time. Presenting a united front in this way shows children that although you may be ending the marriage, you are still parents and will work together to care for the children. Using words like “we” and “us” can help reassure the children that neither parent is going to abandon them. Make sure to tell the children that this decision was made by the adults and was not the result of anything the children did.

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 Posted on April 23, 2018 in Domestic Violence

When we think about domestic violence, what often comes to mind is the physical and emotional abuse that domestic violence victims sadly experience. However, financial abuse is also a type of domestic violence which abusers use to control and overpower their victims. Read on to learn about the warning signs of financial abuse.

When One Spouse is Completely Oblivious to Finances

In many marriages, one spouse is more financially-savvy than the other and therefore does the majority of money management. There is nothing wrong with this scenario. However, sometimes this imbalance of financial responsibility starts to become too extreme. When one spouse is solely in charge of the finances and does not allow the other spouse access to information or funds, he or she could be using money to abuse his or her partner. One major warning sign of financial abuse is when one spouse does not have his or her own debit card, credit card, or checkbook and only pays cash for items. Some abusive partners do not allow their victims access to bank accounts because they do not want them to escape the abusive relationship.

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 Posted on April 16, 2018 in Divorce

In Illinois, laws once existed which allow legal action to be brought against someone who had an affair with a married person. Under the last iteration of such laws, Illinois recognized two torts known as "alienation of affection" and "criminal conversation," informally called "heart balm torts." These torts allowed spouses to bring civil claims for adultery against a third party.

The term "alienation of affection" was used to describe an instance when a third person disrupts a married couple’s relationship by having an inappropriate relationship with one of the spouses. The term "criminal conversation" was used to refer to adultery and sexual relations. Many people consider such laws to now be obsolete and even offensive. Illinois was one of the last states to abolish the antiquated statutes in 2016, but pending cases were not affected by this. One high-profile alienation of affection lawsuit which was litigated for years has just recently settled.

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 Posted on April 11, 2018 in Finances and Divorce

When we think of divorce, many of us initially only consider the personal and romantic relationship which is coming to an end. However, divorce is not only the end of a romantic partnership, but also a financial relationship. Finances are usually merged when two people get married and move in together. Divorcing couples who cannot agree on how to split their accumulated assets will have that decision made for them by the court system.

Hiding Assets or Lying About Finances Will Only Drag Out Your Divorce

In order to make decisions about things like child support, spousal maintenance and property division, courts use each divorcing party’s self-reported financial information. For example, when a judge needs to decide how much spousal maintenance a person must pay to their ex, he or she will consider things such as each person’s income and future employability. Sometimes, in order to game the system, a spouse will lie about how much money they make or what their debts are. Doing this can significantly delay and complicate the divorce process. In order for a divorce to go smoothly, both spouses must be willing to be honest regarding their finances.

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 Posted on April 09, 2018 in Divorce

Addiction issues have affected most people in some way or another. Whether they are the friend or family member of someone who fights addiction or they themselves have struggled with addiction or substance abuse, addiction can be devastating to the people whose lives are impacted by it. The National Survey on Drug Use and Health reports that 21.5 million adults and adolescents experienced drug or alcohol addiction in the U.S in 2014 alone. If you or someone close to you struggles with addiction, you know that addiction can become all-consuming. If you are married to an addict, you may have considered ending the marriage through divorce. Only those in marriage can know what is the right course of action for them, but if you are unhappily married to an addict, there are a few things you should keep in mind.

Are You Being Abused?

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 Posted on April 06, 2018 in Alimony/Spousal Support

In generations past—or so television and movies tend to depict—the average American family relied on a single income provided, in most cases, by a breadwinning father. The mother was primarily responsible for staying home, maintaining the house, and raising the children. Such is no longer the case for the “average” family, as more and more households need two working parents to maintain an acceptable standard of living. Some families, however, have the means and desire to allow one parent to stay home, and many decide to just that. For these families, a divorce can have a dramatic impact on the parent who stayed at home, often leaving him or her struggling to become self-sufficient.

Asking for Maintenance

Maintenance, also known as alimony or spousal support, is one the tools that a court has at its disposal to help a stay-at-home parent during and after a divorce. According to Illinois law, the court may award spousal support if it finds that such an award is appropriate and necessary to alleviate the financial effects of the divorce on an economically-disadvantaged spouse. When deciding on the appropriateness of maintenance, the court will take many factors into account. A spouse’s role as a stay-at-home parent is part of the equation, but it is not enough, on its own, to make support necessary.

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