Reinventing Yourself After Divorce

 Posted on February 27,2019 in Divorce

Your life after divorce is different than married life, or even your life before your marriage. Being married likely changed you, for better or worse, and your divorce will change you again. Now is the time to decide your vision for your post-marriage life. No matter what, your life will change, and it is up to you to create the experience you want.

Try these helpful tips for reinventing yourself after the divorce is finalized:

Acknowledge the Loss

Regardless of whether you were the one to say the marriage was over, you experience a personal loss in a divorce. Your life once had another person intimately involved in every detail, and now that person is no longer there. Acknowledge there will be grief and allow yourself to experience it.

Love Yourself

One of the most common thoughts after a divorce is, “What is wrong with me?” Just because the marriage did not last does not mean it is anyone’s fault. Two people can grow apart from each other. Circumstances change us and sometimes that change does not bring us closer together. Take time after the divorce to build your self-confidence and believe in your self-worth again.

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Can a Father Establish Paternity if the Mother Objects?

 Posted on February 22,2019 in Paternity

Unless the state has revoked your parental rights, every father has the right to establish paternity with their biological child. Numerous studies have shown establishing paternity is in a child’s best interests, as those who have a relationship with both of their parents excel in more areas. In addition to these psychological benefits, establishing paternity also has numerous financial and medical benefits for the child.

The process of establishing paternity is relatively straightforward if both parents agree. In some cases, however, establishing paternity is made much more difficult. This includes situations in which more than one man believes they are the father, or the mother wishes to raise the child on her own. Still, a father can successfully establish paternity even if the biological mother contests it.

Sign a Voluntary Acknowledgement of Paternity

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Tips for Modifying a Divorce Agreement in Illinois

 Posted on February 20,2019 in Divorce

Sometimes life simply does not work out as we plan. This can include marriage, but also the divorce agreement that is put in place at the end of the divorce process. Over time, some of our life situations change, which necessitates the need for divorce modification. If you and your ex-spouse agree on the necessary adjustments, the process is relatively stress-free. If you do not see eye-to-eye, it becomes more complicated.

Timing is Everything

If you need to modify the property division terms, you must do so before the period for appeal expires. According to Illinois law, you have 30 days after the filing of the final divorce agreement to file a motion, after which, only specific topics qualify for amendment. The topics eligible for modification include parenting time, child support, and spousal maintenance.

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Co-Parenting with Your Ex’s New Spouse or Partner

 Posted on February 15,2019 in Divorce

Divorce is one of the hardest decisions anyone can make. Unfortunately, the adjustments do not end as soon as the divorce agreement is finalized. Eventually, life does move forward, and both parties will begin new relationships that may result in marriage.

When children are involved, starting a new relationship means inviting someone else into their lives, something that should not be taken lightly. Here are some tips to help you co-parent with your ex-spouse’s new significant other:

Keep Your Feelings in Check

Effective co-parenting is essential for the well-being of your child. Although it is natural to experience moments of jealousy, anger, sadness, or regret, it is essential not to allow that to interfere with the task at hand: effective co-parenting. If you recognize these emotions within yourself, use your support system to work through them. Take this time to lean on your friends, family, or a therapist so when it comes time to interact with your ex’s new partner, you can maintain a cool, calm, and collected demeanor.

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Tax Season and Divorce: New 2019 Illinois Laws

 Posted on February 12,2019 in Alimony/Spousal Support

Divorce laws can seem daunting for individuals who face the end of their marriage. As of January 1, 2019, Illinois regulations became slightly more complicated as new laws swept across the state and country. One significant alteration to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act drastically impacts tax claims on spousal maintenance payments.

Spousal Maintenance and Taxes

Until now, alimony has been tax deductible to the payer and taxable income for the recipient. However, for divorces filed after the beginning of the year, spousal maintenance no longer qualifies as a tax deduction to the paying spouse. Simultaneously, the recipient can no longer claim the payment as a part of gross income. Because of the tax implications, this caused a rush on divorces toward the end of 2018, as experts say couples now have less to split between them because of the law change.

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Why is Divorce Mediation Gaining Popularity?

 Posted on February 08,2019 in Divorce Mediation

Divorce mediation is quickly gaining popularity and is replacing divorce litigation as the “go-to” method of divorce for many couples. Why? No one wants to spend more time with their soon-to-be-ex-spouse than necessary, right?

Increasingly, that is not the case. Mediation allows divorcing couples to work together to create solutions that work best for their unique circumstances. The decisions are more personalized than those produced by a judge. Mediation also prepares couples for the collaboration needed for successful co-parenting.

Let us take a look at some of the leading benefits of choosing divorce mediation:

You are in Control

When you choose mediation, you and your ex maintain all control of the outcome. Together you decide what is most important and you can create arrangements the way you see fit. A judge is bound to the parameters of the law and does not have time to get to know you on an intimate level to fully comprehend the inner-workings of your family situation. Only you and your spouse grasp that critical information. With mediation, you can create a parenting plan, spousal maintenance agreement, and marital property division arrangement that makes sense.

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The Effect of Abuse Allegations on Divorce Proceedings

 Posted on February 07,2019 in Divorce

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The divorce process differs depending on if there is a history of child abuse or spousal abuse within the home. These allegations and charges, regardless of their outcome, play a pivotal role in child custody and visitation and spousal support determinations.

If you or your children are in danger of abuse, the most important thing is to get out of harm’s way. If you believe divorce is the right option for you, here is how abuse may affect your proceedings:

Parental Responsibilities

Illinois centers its child custody laws around the idea of what is “in the best interest of the children.” If you are in an abusive relationship and the physical or mental well-being of the child is in danger, it is critical you remove yourself and your children from the situation.

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The Division of Retirement Accounts in Divorce in Illinois

 Posted on January 28,2019 in Divorce Finances

Retirement accounts and pension plans are important issues in Illinois divorce proceedings. In some cases, they are the most valuable asset acquired during a marriage. Even though one spouse may hold the pension, IRA, 401(k), or another retirement fund, this account typically qualifies as marital property.

Marital property is anything acquired during the duration of the marriage, as opposed to non-marital property, which accumulated before the commencement of the union and is not a part of the marital estate. All or part of a retirement account is usually included as marital property and is subject to property division.

Retirement Savings as Marital Assets

Account terminology depends entirely on the type held by the spouse. If the account was an employer-sponsored retirement plan, it likely is a 401(k) or pension plan. Typically, the verbiage used for the division is known as a Qualified Domestic Relations Order, or QDRO (pronounced as “quad row” or “cue drow”). If, however, you or your spouse had an Individual Retirement Account (IRA), a transfer incident to divorce would be the correct terminology.

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Understanding Divorce in the Military

 Posted on January 24,2019 in Divorce

There is no doubt military life is very different than the civilian world. Between training schedules, deployments, and frequent relocations, being in the military is not for everyone. On top of all of the pressures our servicemembers and their families face, the military community also deals with a high divorce rate. Members of the military often change over time due to the constant demands, and family members also evolve with the situation. It is not uncommon that after a few years, a couple realizes neither of them is the same person and they are no longer compatible.

If this situation resonates with you, first, know that you are not alone. Here is a look at the differences you face in a military divorce.

The Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act

This act urges the military to accept Illinois state statutes for issues such as child support, spousal maintenance, and military retirement plans. Therefore, Illinois has the right to award retirement pay to a spouse or a soon-to-be former spouse. Although it is not guaranteed, the retirement pay can be distributed as either a fixed dollar amount or a percentage of disposable retired pay. To qualify, spouses must meet the qualifications of the “10/10 Rule,” which states the marriage must have lasted at least 10 years, and the service member must have served at least 10 years of the marriage performing eligible military duties.

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How Divorce Mediation Protects Children

 Posted on January 18,2019 in Divorce

Divorce is a stressful process no matter what method you choose. While spouses are busy dividing their union into two separate lives, researchers recommend they do their best to make sure any children they share stay atop the priorities list. Although children may say they are fine with the situation, the process is always emotional and confusing. The final result may be a new living arrangement and lifestyle. They will likely miss at least one parent every day, and possibly lose friends at school due to a relocation.

Parents looking for an alternative to divorce litigation will find divorce mediation offers an opportunity to both protect and prioritize their children. Divorce mediation benefits include:

Parents Lead by Example

There are no benefits derived from a child witnessing their parents argue. Although spouses can terminate their marriage, they will always be parents. Divorce mediation avoids the emotional courtroom arguments by allowing both parties to come together and discuss their options civilly. If emotions begin to escalate, they can walk away and revisit the matter once tensions have subsided. Mediation is an excellent chance to teach children a valuable lesson, that no matter what hard feelings may exist, you can put them aside and compromise for the betterment of everyone involved.

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